And am very serious about this. I have this intensive craving to leave my profession astray and run away from this cubicle. I have been facing this crisis for a little over a fortnight now. Its strange. Its weird. The job that I so loved to do about a couple of months ago, now seems very distant. I am unable to relate to it. Every morning I feel this pain in my feet and am unable to move to get to work. My mind stops functioning in a positive way and I have these urges to run away from office. I come into office, check my emails randomly, and thats it. Thats all I do and thats all I want to do. Ugghhhh...I hate this feeling. I feel like a school child aged 5, which cries every morning to get to school. I'd rather quit my job and sit at home, than spend aweful days at work.
Yeah, I have decided to quit active full time work. I am not sure what I would want to do henceforth, but I want to give every possible profession a try. Why not? If something pleases my heart and soul, why not? To start with, I plan to apply for a job in a few local NGOs. I plan to teach school children. I plan to pursue a career in anchoring or do voice overs. This will also give me the perfect chance to start planning my dream restaurant.
Its rather strange. Strange because it is important for me to work, because of the constant paycheck. A lot of commitments depend on my income and I cannot afford to let that go so easily. I seriously cannot afford it. But still I want to leave my job, which pays my bills.
Am stuck. Am stuck in this never-ending whirlpool. Its where I cannot for sure realise my dreams being broke. Its where I don't wish to do this job, yet have to because of the monies.
I feel sick...
8 comments:
Could it be that you hate it because you HAVE to do it? Then I think about bread earners in traditional families, and how this would be an inconceivable thought. Here's hoping for your sake that it's a passing phase. Take care. From a well wisher.
Guess I didn't read your post carefully to the end. You already got to the hate because I have to bit. Cheer up. And write soon.
Me Too....I wanna do something like Anthony Bourdain!U Know d ppl at Discovery Travel and Living?
Do exactly what your heart pleases my dear. Maybe all you need is a break, recharge your batteries and look at new options. Too much of a waste to just sit at home permanently, half a day doing something constructive should provide you several options....
---toro loco musical---
Talk to someone who's been doing it for 20 years, and still finds ways to be inspired. here for you ace archer. if you need me. just write. as good or better than sudhir kakar when it comes to real life. trust me.
Hey, hope you feel better soon. Been there so can imagine how horrible you're feeling.
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