The weekend that was...

Anyway, after a hectic week of missing T and wishing she were here sorts, hubby dear and I decided to give hibernation a skip. T was giving folks back home in Chennai a great time, a tough time, playing classroom...she's the teacher, and making mum n dad her students. Well...all we could do was to hear all those stories over this thingie called cellphone. Ok ok, no cribbing.

So the weekend that was...hubby dear and I started out late saturday morning. He wanted to buy the 6th pair of brown formal shoes. And I go...why??? I don't seem to spot the difference among the first 5 anyways...there was a li'l bitta arguing, but it dint last long. I was behaving like a nice goood wife especially when hubby dear promised to buy me some goodies as well. The sound of shopping make my heart thump. We all know that. Shopped till late evening, with a peaceful lunch thrown in. Who wouldn't wish to have a silent cosy lunch with wine on a lazy saturday afternoon in the middle of a light shopping spree...huh??? Got back home. Watched some DVDs which were part of the purchase. What else did buy??? An interesting neck piece, some belts, a paira denim, home sandals, track pants, a sweater, a Clinique lip color (????), and some cheese.....And what did hubby dear buy???? A paira brown formal shoes!!!! Thats it. And he calls that shopping!!!!! Whateva...

Sunday morning...this was interesting. Scouted around for cars for me!!!!!! Yippeee...well..dint buy one though. Anyway, gave that a miss. Went to the hyatt for brunch...with grey goose martinis. Niiice..Again peaceful. Bumped into a few friends there. Was good fun. Spent a coupla hours having brunch. Went shopping again. This time for curtains. Bought some neat stuff. Then zoomed off to the German Embassy for the Christmas Carnival. Met a few friends there as well...(Nids...if you are reading this....sorry couldn't spend time with you as much as I wanted to...you did notice that rush for the beer right????) Post the carnival, went to the Habitat Centre for some old world theatre. Was interesting to see collegians perform. They could have been louder though...considering it was the amphitheatre. It sorta reminded me of my days at the Asmita Theatre group in Delhi. Was great fun. Hmmm....why didnt I pursue that?????

Monday today...and what am I doing???? Changing the curtains at home. Actually trying out new things at home. Pulled out some Egyptian paintings and some Nigerian Masks from the attic. lemme give my home a fresh look. Hard try....

ramblings about the past few days

Oh well, life has been weird, difficult and interesting...all thrown in at the same time... the last few days. Had to rush to Chennai urgently. While I could have managed to stay in Delhi alone with T, I wanted to spend some time with mum and dad. Had to take this decision rather urgently. B wasnt in town. He was traveling to Europe on work. Anyway, reached Chennai. Spent the first day at home. Very quiet. Spent most of the time in my room, going through everything that was left behind by me. Felt nostalgic.

The next few days went off in a jiffy. Met up with really close friends...Thanks all you guys for spending time with me. It was really sweet. Appreciate it. Next time...for a longer duration for sure.

• Watched a movie with Abi, at this new cinema hall on the Mahabalipuram Road.
• Met Anush, Navi and Vidya for drinks and grabbed some dinner as well.
• Met Prem who was very sweet to me. He called home and mum said that I was sick..down with a flu, and he came home with some nice steamin hot chicken soup!!! So sweet that was....He's been a friend to me ever since I can remember...
• Made a quick plan to have coffee with Sandy, Divya and Preeti in the middle of the night at Matchpoint. Spent almost the entire night there over conversations and coffee, of course...
• Met Aki, Nithya, Chamu and Natasha for lunch at this quaint lil Thai restaurant called Benjarong. We were the first to enter the place at 12.30..and the last to get out ..at 4.30!!! So much college talk!

Anyway, also managed to spend a lotta time at home. Had loads of mum & mum-in-law cooked food, which was missing in Delhi. Read a few magazines, started reading a few books, made some alterations to my room, went out with dad a few times to his office, slept and watched television.

I am back in Delhi now, left T behind in Chennai so that she could spend some time with grandparents before she starts school in April. I feel bored. No one to talk to, no one to scream at, no cycling with her...I miss her. But yeah,...I know she is in safe hands. She is at home.

Now I don't know where I wanna be. I have my freedom here...but I feel lonely. There are too many things to do in Chennai, too li'l time, indifferences, everything...but thats home!

Ok everyone, am going through severe blogstipation. I suddenly noticed today that I haven't written anything in almost 2 months!

Gimme a topic to write about. Am bored of writing about what I do, and how I do it...

Oh lets try

I did something that I have never tried ever before. I had this craving for gulab jamuns out of the blue!! Weird but true. Anyway, here's how I did this. May be you can try too... Instead of a sugar syrap, try a condensing a litre of milk and sugar. Add a few pinches of ground cardamom and some saffron. Now add the fried gulab jamuns into it. Let it soak in milk for a bit!!! Oh for all those kids whohate milk..this recipe is super cool. I tried giving my baby some..oh and she looooved it!!!

Creative me...

Coming to think of it...

...I should have remained the way I was 3 years ago
...I should have emptied all the pages on my passport by now, and reapplied for a fresh one
...I should have enrolled for the Vodafone Marathon some 2 months ago
...I should have remained single
...I shouldn't have eaten that butter chicken last night, considering it was soup night
...I should have finished "How Starbucks saved my life" and started the next book
...I should have climbed Mt. Everest by now
...I should have learnt the art of taking things easily
...I should have gone on a roman holiday
...I should have made amma happy by getting pregnant again
...I shouldn't have had such silly misunderstandings with people who matter
...I should have a pug again
...I should go on that African safari
...I should sell my golden Jimmy Choo on ebay
...I should have written a novel by now
...I should have started a dramatics institute
...I should have spent my time more wisely the last few years
...I shouldn't have done this and that
...I should drink lotsa water and eat lotsa fruits
...I should never procrastinate but sadly I do all the time
...I should have given everyone and everything a second chance
...I should have read all the books and papers I had in my mini library by now
...I should have waxed yesterday
...I should spend more time not writing such frivolous stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A matter of destiny, a matter of emptiness

She has always been thinking, why does a break-up or the lack of one feel so difficult? A lack of one because there is no clarity whether she could call the recent fiasco a break-up or just a misunderstanding. She told a friend the other day that she was confused. But who knew that she was silently speaking to herself looking into the mirror about what went wrong and why things were this way when they were not meant to be. "I am sorry, I shouldn't have asked you all those commitment related questions", she says tearfully. She secretly wishes her voice be heard in her lover's apartment. She secretly hopes that he would call her one day or gives her that surprise she has always been waiting for.

Is the lack of personal space the issue? Is the misunderstanding from a recent travel the issue? Infidelity? Immaturity? Or what is it? She fails to understand. She has always been immature in handling certain topics, but thats how she is, and he knew that. Then why all of a sudden this lull? She recently had this long talk with him about certain issues she had in her head. And all that she thought was cleared with one phone call. She knew that this was all he could offer to her at that point in time. Yet she wanted to know what the future held for them. It sounds silly now but it was important for her to know.

Well, whatever the reason is, she still doesn't know why there has suddenly been this 'no-communication' phase. It is painful, it is sort of an emptiness she is feeling now. And she doesn't know why.

May be its destiny, she concludes. But she still patiently waits for him to call. May be she wants the answer. Or may be she wants that one concluding call.

The Diana Chronicles

Ten years after her death, Princess Diana remains a mystery. Was she 'the people's princess', who electrified the world with her beauty and humanitarian missions? Or was she a manipulative, media-savvy neurotic who already brought down a monarchy?

Tina Brown knew Diana personally, knows her world, understands her players, and has far-reaching insight into the royals and the queen herself.

In The Diana Chronicles, you will meet a formidable female cast and get to know the society they inhabit...as youi never have before. Diana's sexually-charged mother, her subtly scheming grandmother, the stepmother she hated but eventually came to understand and a terrifying trio of in-laws and relations: Fergie, the force of nature whose life was full of its own unacknowledged pathos, Princess Margaret, the fading glamour girl, the implacable Queen Mother and, more formidable than all of them, her mother-in-law, the Queen, whose admiration Diana sought until the day she dies. Add Camilla Parker-Bowles, the ultimate 'other woman' into this combustible mix, and it's no wonder that Diana fekt the need to break out of her royal cage into celebrity culture, where she found her own power and used it to devastating effect.

'Intensely well researched and an unputdownable read, Tina Brown's extraordinary book parts the brocaded velvet, lifts the expensive net curtains and allows us an unprecedented look at the world and mind of the most famous person on the planet. It is a tragi-comedy, a soap-opera, a social commentary, a historical document and a psychological examination, written by a superb investigative journalist'.

- Academy Award Winning Actress Helen Mirren

(as written in the book)

Getting used to the good things in life

Ok I have to admit. I feel fresh, I feel new, I feel energetic, I feel like a snob! I am bloody proud of the fact that I can work out without feeling tired, or hassled. No more lazy excuses!!! Happy happy...

I have become a cool, care-a-damn sort of person! Did I say care-a-damn?? Yeah baby...I dont bloody care what others thought. Happy happy again...

I have started eating fresh khana, salads, soups, and don't hog myself to death. Yeah breakfast exempted, where I allow myself that privilege. But its still a big no-no to fruits. I can't I can't. I've tried bloody hard to eat an apple every morning before hitting the gym (tsk tsk..its was a friend's idea). NOOOO...but I can't. Sulk Sulk.

I am on the verge of quitting my job. Actually quitting is not the right word to use. Its for losers. Let me rephrase...I am moving on. Trying to explore other options. Options may include gymming for 3 hours everyday, pick up and drop baby from school, recce for baby's school admissions, catching up with long lost friends, sipping coffee endlessly at that cosy coffee shop with a book in hand, watch TV, a nice afternoon siesta...see the options are endless!!! Yippeee Yippeeee.

Its vacation time. Yeah finally hubby dear made it happen. Off for 2 full weeks. Its gonna be bliss. No work to think about, no irritating office calls, no this and no that. Just unwind. Spend time by the beach, on the hills...drive around aimlessly! Hurrah! Life is bloody beautiful.

Feeling new, feeling fresh!

Yes, I finally did it. After months of contemplation and procrastination, I finally did it! I thought of starting something new in my life and looking at life from a different perspective. Which means first of all, waking up at 5am every morning. Go to the gym for a work out and do cardio and weights!!!
Yes I finally did it. I am not feeling lazy anymore. I am up and running, I feel rejuvenated and most important of all, I am more calm and patient than ever before.
This weekend was amazing. In spite of a late Friday night, I had the excitement to wake up early Saturday and hit the gym. I worked for for an hour and then it was pampering time! I got an awesome Olive Oil massage at Spa Zieta. Ah! It felt like heaven.
Just wondering, how did I not do all these before??? Hmmm...

And these were a few of my favorite childhood things...

Childhood memories, fond memories, memories that would stick to your mind forever, and you wish if you could live those times forever. Here are a few of my favourite childhood things.

1. Getting home from school on a hot afternoon, and eating vadai, made by mom.
2. Stepping out to play, "running and catching" or "7 stones" with your street friends.
3. Grandma telling those magical stories while feeding thaiyir saadam, with avakkai oorgugai using her fragile wrinkled hands.
4. Sitting at home on election days and national holidays, and don't know what to do.
5. Making sand castles on the beach, when dad takes you for a walk.
6. Making most of those train rides to the native town. Packing puli saadam, and idli on those journeys.
7. Hiding those exam papers from dad, since marks were below average.
8. Eating ice cream from that road side vendor, and didn't care about who saw or complained.
9. Wearing a "colour-dress" on birthdays, while the entire school wore uniforms. Feeling proud of the fact that it's your birthday.
10. Holidaying in grandma's place every summer, and playing endlessly with cousins.
11. Playing in the rain, and coming home to mom, who would definitely scold you! But don't care...
12. That first boy who held your hand...and you thought you'd get pregnant!!!
13. Shopping for those fancy clothes during Deepavali and Pongal in Pondy bazaar.
14. Gate-crashing into the neighbour's home, since she has made gulab-jamuns and pakodas on a lazy sunday afternoon!
15. Eagerly waiting for appa to get home, to pick out that 5 star from his pocket!

Ah..how nice...childhood...it brings back sweet memories, and a tear!

kavz tag!

When I started thinking of the blog concept, I was wondering if I could write something. If I could produce something worth reading, or will I have so many interesting moments in my life that would be worth mentioning or remembering. Hmm..may be yes, may be no. Not always, I knew it. However I decided to take it positively. I haven't been blogging lately and thought to myself, "Oh no..what a boring life I lead! I have nothing to talk about!"

To not sound very uninteresting, here is a tag of three, for people to know me better...

3 things that scare me:
Tomorrow
Nightmares
Over confidence

3 things that I love:
My baby
A trip to the spa
To do absolutely nothing

3 things that I hate:
Reptiles
My mood swings
Cooked cabbage

3 things that I don't understand:
My present work
Why I don't do what I love doing
The Bofors case

3 people who make me laugh:
Calvin
My friend A
My baby

3 things on my table:
My hand bag
Some loose sheets of paper, which am not sure what to do
My computer

3 things am doing right now:
Day-dreaming
Trying to multitask
Thinking of what to do this evening when I get back home

3 holiday destinations I'd love to visit:
Barbados
Hawaii
Istanbul

3 things I'd love to do before I die:
To be cast in a broadway show
To fly a plane
To climb Mt. Everest

3 things I'd like to learn:
Figure skating
To cook like my mother
To write a soap opera

3 things you should listen to:
The sound of your heart
Prem Joshua
Swahili music

3 things you shouldn't listen to:
The voice in your heart
Himesh Reshammiya
Heavy Metal (It gives me a head ache!!)

3 of my favorite foods:
Anything Indian (especially South Indian)
Chinese
Italian

3 beverages I drink regularly:
South Indian filter kaapi
Hot Chocolate
Paani

3 TV shows I watched as a kid:
Ramayana
Malgudi Days
The adventures of Sherlock Holmes

3 TV shows am addicted to currently:
FRIENDS
Fashion House
6 degrees

3 things I can do:
Pottery
Procrastinate
Play with baby

________________________THE END________________________

Fashion House????

Oh no. I was thinking I would be the only one to keep the Star World ratings going. I wondered if I was committing a huge mistake. I wondered if I was the only jobless desperate woman who had the time to tune into this serial called "Fashion House". Oh my god!!! Every night, after getting my baby to bed, I would quickly run up to my little entertainment centre to watch the "much-awaited by me" Fashion House. Am still wondering why I watch this. Yeah I know one reason why. Its for all the hot men and the no-plot story. Actually the reason why the hot men or women appear in a particular soap is for the viewers to forget about the plot and just ogle at the people, err..not actors.

Just when I was grieving about my wow-so cool night life and the shax how jobless state of mind, my friend...Rams writes that she does the same thing too!!!

Yipppeeee...I have company now. Am not the only one!!! Yeyeyeye...I have people committing the same crime!!! AWESOME!!!

Am bored and am tired...

And am very serious about this. I have this intensive craving to leave my profession astray and run away from this cubicle. I have been facing this crisis for a little over a fortnight now. Its strange. Its weird. The job that I so loved to do about a couple of months ago, now seems very distant. I am unable to relate to it. Every morning I feel this pain in my feet and am unable to move to get to work. My mind stops functioning in a positive way and I have these urges to run away from office. I come into office, check my emails randomly, and thats it. Thats all I do and thats all I want to do. Ugghhhh...I hate this feeling. I feel like a school child aged 5, which cries every morning to get to school. I'd rather quit my job and sit at home, than spend aweful days at work.

Yeah, I have decided to quit active full time work. I am not sure what I would want to do henceforth, but I want to give every possible profession a try. Why not? If something pleases my heart and soul, why not? To start with, I plan to apply for a job in a few local NGOs. I plan to teach school children. I plan to pursue a career in anchoring or do voice overs. This will also give me the perfect chance to start planning my dream restaurant.

Its rather strange. Strange because it is important for me to work, because of the constant paycheck. A lot of commitments depend on my income and I cannot afford to let that go so easily. I seriously cannot afford it. But still I want to leave my job, which pays my bills.

Am stuck. Am stuck in this never-ending whirlpool. Its where I cannot for sure realise my dreams being broke. Its where I don't wish to do this job, yet have to because of the monies.

I feel sick...

A reality check, this very second.

Its a normal day. He wakes up before her, opens the door for the maid, gets back to bed. She wakes up, fixes her morning cuppa hot filter kaapi. Reads through the newspapers. Whats new in it? Its the same old crappy news that she is not interested in. Nevertheless makes an effort to be worldly wise. She has this craving to read the HT City first, but strongly says no. Thats not news. Business and Politics comes first. parties later. He walks into the room. Give me HT City. What? She askes. Reads the regular news first. Then go to the soft porn section. Anyway, she hands him teh supplement. Fixes another cuppa filter kaapi. Asks him if he wanted one. But he decides to have nimbu paani instead. She doesn't seem bothered. She finishes drinking her kaapi, reads the paper, goes to the bedroom, opens her cupboard, takes 3 sets of clothes, takes a minute to decide what she wanted to wear. Feeling a little irritated and bored, she picks out the not-so-interesting outfit. Goes for a quick shower. He gets up after drinking nimbu paani. Goes to his cupboard and pick out a formal grey suit and a bright yellow tie. Bangs the bathroom door. "Am getting late. Come out quickly". He yells. And also talks this in his mind...Gosh how long does she take in the shower. Doesn't she understand its a working day? She comes out all the more irritated.

Puts on her shoes, and says...Happy Anniversary hubby dear!

Am going to PRAGUEEEEEEE........

Yippee I am going to Prague. I am going to Prague. To freeze my ass off in -6 degrees. Will post photos when I get back. I am gonna watch an opera. I am gonna go around the city riding a bicycle! I am gonna do everything possible. Oops...forgot...I have work to do as well. Well..what the heck, will try and give it sometime.

See you all next month..

Till then...keep writing! Happy Blogging!

My sunday..

Tried waking up at 9.30am. Well, T has been trying this herculean task of waking me up since 7, and I finally budged at 9.30. Poor B had to entertain her first thing on a sunday morning. I had the privilege of sleeping, since I kinda complained of stomach cramps!

It was 14th Jan. A sunday. Pongal day. Actually Pongal this year fell on a monday, but since I couldn't take off from work, decided to make a complete south indian tam bram 'saapaadu' on sunday. Started my day with a nice hot cuppa filter coffee. Attempted making ven pongal, medhu vadai, sambar and tengaai chutney. It was ok. After a seriously long time, I had made this for breakfast. My cook I guess now has confirmed that her post will not be dissolved. I will have her in my home forever! Invited my neighbour as well for breakfast. Actually brunch. Finished this with another nice cuppa filter coffee.

Got T to bed again at 1.00. B and I slept again, cuddled, cosying in our new duvet. Slept till 3. T woke us up again. B decided to give her a massage, and a nice hot water shower, while I decided to watch "FRIENDS" back to back. Sipped some home made tomato cream soup. Cook arrived again, this time with sweet puris for T. B & I were in no mood for lunch. We had eaten too much in the morning. After a nice long shower, gave T those sweet puris. Oh! how much she loves 'em. B then took her to the park, where she gets to dirty herself! Why did he even bother to give her a massage and a bath? I wonder. Anyway, didn't want to start an argument, so kept quiet.

Then at 6.30pm decided to go to Landmark. Oh how we Chennaiites love this bookstore! Yeah yeah Teksons and Om bookstores are fine, but nothing like Landmark. Browsed around for a good 2 hours. Finally bought an obscene amount of books, that would last me 4 months atleast! Felt great. Well..B was paying for it, so didn't complain! By this time, we felt hungry. Skipped lunch, remember??? Went to a restaurant called Orchid at the Fortune Select Global. Quite relaxed. Had a buffet dinner. Gorged on those desserts. Spent 2 hours or so there as well, while T made friends with the band and the waiters.

Came back home. Got T to bed. Stepped out to the balcony. Soaked in the chill. Read a little. Slept. B as usual slept with the reading light on...

A new year, a new resolution

This year, as always, I have made up my mind. A new resolution on New year's day. This year I resolve to love my body. This year I resolve to complete all the books that are stacked up in my little library, even if I have shunned them in the past. This year I resolve to swim everyday wearing a 2-piece bikini. This year I resolve to learn 2 foreign languages. This year I resolve to cook everyday for my family in the kitchen. This year I will not drink and drive. This year I will not bother about the blemishes on my skin.

Resolution?? Err..no smoking, no drinking, no this and no that. And how long did it last? 1 day perhaps!

Why even bother?!